The evening of the fourth day of the year is ending and Im sitting here thinking how blessed I am. There was and is so much I wanted to do before the new year begin but time just got in the way and my back has been hurting so much I did nothing. Im going to live each day to the fullest and enjoy each minute because life is too short for what could've beens and wait upon the Lord for whatever he sends my way.
For 2011 I promised myself to think positive and have a good attitude, and to bite my tongue before speaking so as not to say something that will hurt someone. I will pray for person(s) who make hurtful remarks, learn to chill and not take things too serious. They may be having a bad day and in need of prayer. So with an open mind I will let them vent and borrow my ear, if that will help them calm down lol. I will try to love everyone the way God wants us to do even if its from far away.
These are not new years resolutions but changes from my heart that I need to make for myself because 'I want to see Jesus'.
I want to be a better wife, mother, grandmother and friend. Being a good daughter to my daddy who is showing signs of dementia and be there for him if he needs me the way my mother did before she died. If faced with the decease again, I am standing on Gods promises that he won't give me more than I can handle. I will let Him guide me and give me patience and strength to help my dad until his last day.
Im so sad because I truly wish that my dad could live his last days without sickness of any kind. He will be 83 yrs in June and has aged alot in the past few months, and I see a very sad and lonely man having to live without his partner of 62 yrs but there is nothing I can do except be there for him. Daily I see changes in him and his only out is to get angry. He'll get mad at everyone and everything because his memory is failing and in his mind we aren't being nice to him. He's locked himself out of his studio by locking the door leaving the keys inside, or forgotten where he left his keys. This decease eats up the brain where you're no longer rational in your thinking and start imagining goofy stuff like people trying to steal from you or taking things that belong to you. Unless you experience this personally you cannot understand the heartache, stress and sadness this decease causes. When he is in a good mood and in a right attitude he can be very sweet and helpful, but his mood swings are becoming very irritating and stressful to all of us. I don't want to live in a stressful atmosphere but it looks like it will be a repeat of last year when my mom was sick.
Life will be what we make it and I am a firm believer in that. We can want all we see but do we actually need what we see? Do we argue with each other to make a point or because we want to win the argument? Are we making the right choices because its the right thing to do or because that's what we're supposed? One wrong word or action can ruin lives, so 'Think before we speak' should be practiced by all. The most important thing in my life is making God my #1 priority because then my world will be that much easier.
There will be situations and trials in the coming months, will I be able to cross that path? I hope so.
I enjoy my grandchildren when they visit and Im so glad that my oldest grandson has been coming around more lately. Daisy and Dino live here on the plantation and while I see them all the time, and silence is golden without them the plantation would be too quiet. They are the only 2 grandchildren that go to church and living for God, so I must pray for the others that they see the LIGHT because Jesus is coming soon.
God willing Dino my son-in-law and my daughter Tiffany will have a better year free from health and financial issues. Hopefully he won't need surgery and be able to return to work, but in any case my husband and I will be here to help them. I love my family♥
I don't know about the future but I do know that He holds my hand, so Im leaning on his everlasting love.
|Paul & Tiffany|
|Dino, Monica, Mike, Danelle, Daisy|
|Danelle, Monica, Daisy|
|Lil Dino youngest grandson|