I am feeling really down and sad and unhappy and hurt. Lets see I don't think I can think of another word to describe me today............oooops one more MAD. WAIT, only dogs get mad, I am very ANGRY!
Today my brother along with his girlfriend Nancy and my dad met up at the cemetery to see the marker that was finally put on mom's grave site. Its only been a whole year and two months for this to happen, but who's counting days? Why am I angry?...............WELL they somehow forgot to include me in their plans (aha! maybe they figure Nancy is the adopted daughter and felt there was no need for me)? They also didn't bother to tell me they've known for a month, but I guess it wasn't important for me to know since I didn't contribute anything. We live so far from each other that maybe 'out of sight out of mind' was the case today. My brother likes to say...........'I don't want to hear anything except about myself so don't tell me anything thats gonna make my heart start fluttering'. He is not kidding either.
A big family with lots of siblings of both genders is just unimaginable to me and believe me, I am so jealous of anyone who comes from such wonderful chaos. If anyone in these families were ever forgotten they would eventually be informed by one sibling or another....LOL I only have one brother and my own immediate family consists of only my daughter and her family of three. Thats why I can't imagine how you can forget one or two siblings!!! What is going on?
Being forgotten or snubbed which ever may be the case and not seeing 'the marker' is not going to take away my memories I have of all the years I had with my mother.
Just typing on this blog has made me feel so much better yippee!. I am so over all this drama I created for myself lol. All the tears and ugly thoughts I had are gone. I will pray for my brother and Nancy that they find the peace I have knowing God and how he has taught me to forgive others their trespasses as He has forgiven me.
Happy 70th Birthday Marcia Starr Ballestero
1 week ago