Saying Good Bye

 My precious mom took her final breath on Monday June 14, 2010 at 3:35 pm.  I am hurting deep inside I cannot explain the feeling.  Its like as if there is an empty space inside, I can't eat or sleep.  I believe she suffered alot toward the end even tho she was being kept as comfortable as possible. Mom never complained when she was sick or wouldn't go to doctors, she always said she was 'ok' because she didn't want us to worry about her.  I believe that even on her death bed she kept her pain from us for that same reason because I never heard her cry out. 

My brother, dad, myself and my son Paul & daughter Tiffany stayed at the nursing home day and night.  I never left her side for fear that she would slip away while I was gone.  I prayed and asked the Lord to take her and stop her suffering and also to have mercy on her soul.  The doctors and nurses said that the last to go is your hearing.  I know that she heard us when we spoke to her because she would move or jerk her body in response to our voices.  I told her to ask the Lord to come into her heart and to repent of her sins and ask Him to forgive her and take her into his kingdom.  My spanish is only for my family I don't speak very well, but that day I know the Holy Spirit allowed words to come out of my mouth that she understood.  

My parents are Catholics and I did not want to offend them by asking someone from my church to come pray over her.  Yet, I felt a need so great for prayer and asked the Lord to intervene the way He had done the whole week she had been in the nursing home.  My Lord never fails!!!  As I prayed and talked to my mother the door opened and a man walked in & introduced himself as a Pastor.  He said he had come to pray for my mom,  I thought my dad was going to say no because he wasn't a priest!  To my surprise dad allowed this man of God to pray over my mother and then sat quietly afterward as he spoke to all of us.  Within the next two hours three more Pastors all affiliated with the Hospice program walked into the room one by one at different times to pray for my mother.   The last one told my dad he was also a grief counselor and that he would come day or night to his house to pray or talk to him after my mother passed.  I was rejoicing within because of the way the Lord answered my prayers. I asked for a Pastor and he sent three!!

At the end there was a change in her movements and somehow we knew this was it. I asked that she say goodbye.   She opened her eyes and looked right at me then towards my brother, dad, and Tiffany.  Her eyes took in the entire room and then she slowly closed her eyes and took her last breath.

I miss my mother so much it hurts thinking she isn't next door or outside, but I am so grateful that the Lord took her when he did.  Dementia had escalated so rapidly that eventually she wouldn't even recognize any of us. Now I know she's not blind anymore and she can see, and her mind is clear.............until we meet again I love you mom..

RIP ♥