If we learn to deal with our everyday problems and accept what comes with them I think life would be so much easier. Of course this sounds so simple when we just talk about it, but to actually go through one of many every day occurrences can prove to be challenging. A doctor appointment can turn into a very long suffering event. It must be dealt with plenty of time and preparation for this 'event'. No unexpected decisions can be made without lots of planning. Mom needs to be told in advance many times over of any plans that will cause any change in her everyday schedule or she gets very confused.
Explaining and dealing with the unexpected questions of why we must dress nice yet choose clothing which will help me, mom and the doctor for a simple blood pressure. The dignity of a person must always be first in whatever decision is made. Being firm without offending or causing hurt feelings can be quite exhausting. When you've explained where how and when at least ten times plus can also drain your composure of being calm and staying focused.
Getting into the vehicle and hooking a seat belt is also a time consuming process. I have decided that mom will no longer sit in the back as she insists on doing. It is so much easier to hook her seat belt when she is in the front seat next to me. Other wise I have to climb into the back and wait for her to move her body or clothing off the lock so we can hook the seat belt! Mom insists she can do this task by herself each time she gets in the vehicle and after much arguing and frustration on her part she gives up. She is always cold so we can't use the a/c and since she doesn't want to mess up her hair windows cannot be opened either. Loud noise or too many people talking at one time make her very nervous so that of course means no radio. Sometimes I do put the radio on very low just to distract myself from her many complaints. I also turn a/c on and aim the vents directly toward me, I become claustrophobic when I cannot breath! Driving miss Daisy is also another thing I must keep in check Forget the speed limit-I need to drive SLOW because mom feels every bump and it causes her pain. I didn't think I drove fast because everyone always tells me I drive like an 'ole lady' hahaha. No matter how I drive fast or slow my driving will continue to be an issue.
Arrival at the medical office creates more tears and arguments because mom doesn't want to sit in a wheel chair. Telling her that its much easier for me to push her so she won't get tired of walking doesn't seem to help matters any. In her mind its another way of saying she isn't capable of one more thing....walking...
While waiting for the doctor and hearing her many complaints whether real or her imagination makes me very sad. I know that the aging process has long ago taken effect on her body, but this dementia is really taking a toll on her and on me. Starting the routine all over with new doctors, hospitals, and being seen by different specialists makes her very agitated and in turn she makes it very hard for my dad and myself to cope.
God has promised that he will not give me anything that I can't cope with. I am standing on his promises to see me through these days which I also know may be my moms last. Many things in life happen for a reason and these problems are just an example. The main thing is that I keep on trusting the Lord for strength and just go one day at a time. Each night before I close my eyes and go to sleep I realize that it wasn't as hard as it seemed but only as hard as I let it be.
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